Happy birthday to a father I’m only slightly afraid of slowly turning into.Now that I am older, I really want to thank you for never leaving me in the shopping trolley and running for the exit.I promise when you get really old and forgetful I won’t let you forget to wash your hands after you pee, or feed the cat food to your cat and not yourself.I’m so glad I found someone who’s the same type of weird as me.Happy birthday to a person who is truly brilliant, incredibly gorgeous, unbelievably funny and extremely lucky to have been blessed with my DNA.Does that mean you actually started to take the trash out? Happy birthday. Your wife say you’re definitely getting better with age.You’ve always been the brother I’ve look up to, until I realized that I am way cooler than you.Happy birthday to a dad who helped me grow into the type of person he’s not embarrassed to take credit for raising. ![]() Oh wait, you already have all that you wish for. Happy birthday from the one who endures your farts and still loves you anyway.If I were going to ditch you I would have done it during your teenage years. Remember that I will always be here for you.Just wanted to remind you that today is mom’s birthday and that makes me the better child for remembering.Brother at least one of us has inherited the brains, all the charm and the looks! Shame it wasn’t you! Have a great day.I’m your girlfriend and I’m already the greatest gift that you can ever get. It’s a little difficult to choose a gift for you because I didn’t even want to get you one. ![]() Notice I didn’t mention anything about the teenage years. You were a wonderful child and you’ve become a wonderful man.I didn’t get you a gift this year, so let’s call it even. To my brother who still owes me several big ones.Happy birthday to a son that is smart, good looking and funny and reminds me a lot of myself.Happy Birthday to my big sister who will always hit every decade before me!.Your birthdays are really expensive, but you’re worth it. For some reason, when I go birthday shopping for you, I end up finding a lot more gifts for myself.The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.I hope your birthday is as amazing as I am.I was looking for a great present for you then realized that having me as your child is enough for anyone.Happy birthday to a sister who has the best sister in the world.Wishing you many more candles and a great big cake to fit them all on. Look on the bright side! You’ll be even older next year.I know how sensitive old folks are about their age. I will never send you one of those greeting cards making fun about your age.May you grow so old that you unintentionally frighten small children.Happy birthday! Here’s to being immature for a lifetime.I have the fire department on stand-by and there is a fire-extinguisher under the table. Just letting you know the tablecloth is flame resistant.The emergency department is on speed dial just in case you have an unexpected asthma attack blowing the candles.You’re one step closer to diapers being mandatory! ![]() I t’s better to be over the hill than buried 6 feet underneath it.
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